Sunday, March 15, 2015

Emerging from Depression

For the past several months I have been experiencing a deep depression, probably one of the worst I've ever had. Last week, at last, I felt the despair lifting due to a combination of medication readjustment and doTERRA medicinal oils. Finally, I feel like myself again. I'm not scared to be home alone and my every minute isn't filled with a despair that fills like it is pulling me through the ground beneath my feet. I don't know if I will ever feel that kind of depression and hopelessness again, I can only pray and take my meds, use the oils, continue practicing yoga, and do the things that I know I must to stay healthy.

At this point, the feeling better time, some people with mental illness decide to stop taking their medication, but not me. I truly want to feel better and I know that I need the meds to help me to stay stable. Taking pills every day is a small price to pay for emotional and mental stability.

I don't miss the hell that was mania, which left me so mentally, emotionally, and physically ill that there was no choice other than hospitalization. And I certainly don't miss clinical depression.

Although I've been depressed, I never lost sight of all of the good in my life. I have a wonderfully nurturing and supportive family and friends who I adore. I recently became a life coach, I've got a new article coming out soon through Author magazine, and I've started back to teaching yoga; I'm giving a workshop on yoga and journaling, and I'm completing an e-booklet about my experiences with bipolar disorder. Those are all good and positive movements forward in life. Although I was aware of all of this goodness in my life, it didn't take away the agonizing despair. I believe that bipolar disorder is truly a chemical problem more than a psychological one.

The sun is shining, the temperature warm, and at last I'm ready to embrace my life again.  

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