Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Surrendering to the Sadness

Yesterday I felt the sadness shifting. It wasn't that it was gone, it was there in full force, but I allowed myself to feel it pulling me deep down into my stomach/gut. All along I've been feeling this sadness and it has overwhelmed me, it's not as though I've blocked it out. So what was different about yesterday?

I volunteered at the front desk at the studio where I practice yoga, then I took my daughter to work and drove back home where I was left to face myself, which is something that I have not been able to emotionally and mentally handle. I choose not to zone out by taking naps, because they leave me even more depressed when I wake up.

When I got home from taking my daughter to work, I put on my headphones and listened to a chakra balancing binaural beats download. Recently I've found that I'm far too antsy to close my eyes and sit through meditation, but I can write my blog post while I listen to the chakra download. So I did, I wrote my blog. When I finished writing, the sadness wasn't as intense as usual. It was just waiting a few minutes to blast me with it's force.

So, yesterday when the sadness arose I did something different: I felt it and I surrendered to it. I feel it with me every day, but I can't say that surrender has happened, until yesterday. Surrender lead me to a grounded feeling deep in my gut. I don't know if this same tactic will work today, I don't know if I will feel sad when I'm alone, although there's nothing to indicate that I won't. However, I'm excited to use this new awareness: surrender. All I can do is hope and pray that if my sadness revisits me today that I can find the ability to surrender and re-experience the same intensely grounding sensation that I did yesterday.

2 comments:

  1. Excellent advice, Jamie! I think Eckhart Tolle advises similarly - to accept the present moment, what is. I also like your advice of listening to chakra beats - very useful tool.

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    1. Kim, I would definitely try the binaural beats. It can have a pretty intense impact and it helps me to concentrate. Thanks for the comment!

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