Thursday, February 5, 2015

My bipolar life

Some people might say that I am taking a huge risk by creating a website that announces in the title that I have bipolar disorder. And they would be right. I am taking a risk and yet it's a risk that I am willing to take in order to share myself in a more authentic and freeing way. I was diagnosed this past summer a couple of weeks shy of my 45th birthday. The diagnosis came as a shock that I haven't completely gotten over. Every night when I take my handful of meds, I'm amazed that this has become my life.

I'm not proud of having bipolar disorder, but neither am I ashamed of it. I've received such tremendous support as my life and identity take new form. Fortunately, I was hilarious when I was manic, at least that's what I was told, although I can't remember the full episode. Mania has a way of wiping clean parts of memory. I do know that it wasn't all hilarity, it became a terrible illness requiring hospitalization. Many friends know that I was in a psychiatric hospital for eight nights, many others don't know that about my life. I am willing to share now. The system needs to be changed and the stigma removed. 

In future posts I will share more deeply about my experiences in the hospital, how my life has changed since receiving the diagnosis, and what it was like having a full-blown manic episode. I look forward to sharing myself on this blog. My writing tends to be transparent and raw, which is the only type of writing that I consider worth reading. I'm very picky about what I read, and if I'm going to read someone's work it is because they have taken chances and committed to writing from a place of true sharing and authenticity. 

I invite you to share this journey of my bipolar life.