Monday, February 16, 2015

Emerging from the Shadows

A couple of hours ago I posted on my FB page that I will be teaching classes for the depression and bipolar support group that I attend. It just occurred to me how amazing it is that I am able to go online and admit that I attend a bipolar support group. I feel like I'm emerging from the shadows.

In the past, like as little as two months ago, I wouldn't have gone online and announced that I go to a support group, much less have a blog called My Bipolar Life. I've come a long way. Although, I think I was somewhat transparent before, but still there was a fear of being found out. Mixed with that fear was the feeling that I was not going to hide out and be ashamed of my illness, nor would I label myself bipolar. I have bipolar disorder, it doesn't define me and yet it is a huge part of my life. I live with it and often feel that I am battling it every day. It's not a lot of fun.

I have received wonderful and supportive feedback about this blog. But there is a small part of me still lurking in the shadows, or maybe not now, that wonders about the people who I haven't heard from. What do they think of me? Do they admire me? Do they think I'm crazy? I don't know and honestly those questions don't occupy a great deal of my time.

I'm out and I thank all of the people who have stood by me and are still standing by as I go through this difficult journey with an illness that is a bitch to have. I'm not enjoying this one bit, but my friends, family and supportive people I have met on line, help alleviate some of the daily pain. A million thank you's for not leaving and not letting me fall.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes it's hard for people to read blogs like this when their own life isn't going well or even when their life is going well. Sometimes it's just hard. What other people think or feel about you is a moot point. What you feel and think about yourself is what counts most.